Dating dictionary

Modern dating has its own language. Here is what every term means — with real-life examples and what to do about it.

A

Age-gap relationship: An age-gap relationship is a romantic partnership in which the partners differ noticeably in age, often by ten years or more.
Anxious attachment: Anxious attachment is an attachment style marked by a strong desire for closeness and a persistent worry that a partner may withdraw or leave.
Asexual: Asexual describes a person who experiences little or no sexual attraction to others, and who may still seek romantic or emotional relationships.
Attachment style: An attachment style is a person's typical pattern of connecting with others in close relationships, shaped by early experiences and later relationships.
Avoidant attachment: Avoidant attachment is an attachment style in which a person values independence highly and tends to feel uncomfortable with emotional closeness.

B

Beige flag: A beige flag is a quirky, neutral or mildly odd trait in a person that is neither a warning sign nor a clear plus, just something to notice and decide about.
Benching: Benching is keeping someone as a backup option, staying in touch but not committing, while pursuing other people or waiting for something better.
Blind date: A blind date is a date between two people who have not met before, usually arranged by a mutual friend, relative or matchmaker.
Boundaries: Boundaries are the personal limits you set around your time, body, emotions and values, and the way you communicate them to others.
Breadcrumbing: Breadcrumbing is sending occasional flirty or hopeful messages to keep someone interested without ever intending to commit or meet.
Butterflies: Butterflies are the fluttering, nervous-excited sensation in the stomach that many people feel when attracted to or anticipating time with someone.

C

Catfishing: Catfishing is creating a fake online identity, with false photos or details, to deceive someone into an emotional or romantic connection.
Chemistry: Chemistry is the felt sense of attraction and ease between two people, a mix of physical pull, emotional connection and natural rapport.
Closure: Closure is the sense of emotional resolution after a relationship ends, when you understand and accept what happened well enough to move on.
Codependency: Codependency is a relationship pattern in which one person's sense of worth depends on meeting the other's needs, often at the cost of their own.
Commitment phobia: Commitment phobia is an intense fear or reluctance to enter or maintain a long-term, exclusive romantic relationship.
Compatibility: Compatibility is how well two people's values, goals, habits and communication styles fit together over the long term.
Conscious uncoupling: Conscious uncoupling is a deliberate, respectful way of ending a relationship that prioritizes honesty, kindness and minimizing harm to both people.
Crush: A crush is a feeling of romantic or physical attraction toward someone, usually unspoken, that makes you nervous, excited and eager to be near them.
Cuffing season: Cuffing season is the colder part of the year, roughly autumn to winter, when many single people look for a steady partner to share the season with.
Cushioning: Cushioning is keeping a few backup romantic options on the side as a safety net in case your current relationship or main interest does not work out.

D

Date night: Date night is a regularly planned evening set aside for partners to spend focused time together, away from routine tasks and distractions.
Dating burnout: Dating burnout is emotional and mental exhaustion from the process of dating, often after repeated disappointment or too much effort.
Dating detox: A dating detox is a planned break from dating, apps and romantic pursuit, used to rest, reflect and reset your approach.
Dealbreaker: A dealbreaker is a quality, behavior or circumstance that is serious enough to end a romantic connection or stop it before it begins.
Demisexual: Demisexual describes a person who experiences sexual attraction only after forming a strong emotional bond with someone.
Double date: A double date is an outing in which two couples, or two pairs of people on a date, spend time together in the same place.
Double-texting: Double-texting is sending a second message before the other person has replied to your first one.
Dry texter: A dry texter is someone who sends short, low-effort replies that give the other person little to respond to.
DTR (Define the Relationship): DTR, short for "define the relationship", is the conversation in which two people clarify what they are to each other and whether they are exclusive.

E

Emotional intimacy: Emotional intimacy is the closeness that comes from feeling safe to share your thoughts, feelings and fears with someone who understands and accepts you.
Emotional unavailability: Emotional unavailability is difficulty or unwillingness to engage with, share or respond to feelings in a relationship, keeping real closeness out of reach.
Ethical non-monogamy: Ethical non-monogamy (ENM) is an umbrella term for relationships in which partners openly agree that each may have more than one romantic or sexual connection.
Exclusive: Exclusive means that two people have agreed to date or be intimate only with each other and to stop seeing other people.

F

Friend zone: The friend zone is a situation in which one person wants a romantic relationship while the other sees them only as a friend.
Friends with benefits: Friends with benefits is an arrangement in which two friends have a sexual relationship without the expectations or commitment of a romantic partnership.
Future faking: Future faking is making detailed promises or plans about a shared future that the person has no real intention of fulfilling.

G

Gaslighting: Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation in which someone makes you doubt your own memory, perception or sanity.
Ghosting: Ghosting is suddenly cutting off all communication with someone without explanation, leaving them unsure what happened.
Going Dutch: Going Dutch means each person pays for their own share of the bill on a date, rather than one person covering the whole cost.
Green flag: A green flag is a positive sign in someone's behaviour that suggests they are respectful, honest and capable of a healthy, stable relationship.
Groundhogging: Groundhogging is repeating the same dating pattern or returning to the same kind of person or ex, expecting a different result each time.

H

Hard launch: A hard launch is publicly announcing a relationship on social media with a clear photo or tag of your partner, making the status obvious to everyone.
Haunting: Haunting is when someone who has ended contact with you keeps appearing in your digital life through likes, views or comments, without ever speaking to you.
Having a type: Having a type means being repeatedly drawn to people who share certain physical traits, personality qualities or backgrounds.
Honeymoon phase: The honeymoon phase is the early stage of a relationship when excitement, attraction and idealization are at their peak and everything feels effortless.
Hoovering: Hoovering is when a former partner suddenly reaches out, often with charm or promises, to pull you back into a relationship that had ended.

I

Icebreaker: An icebreaker is a question, comment or activity used to ease tension and start a comfortable conversation between people who have just met.
Infatuation: Infatuation is an intense but short-lived passion for someone, driven by attraction and idealization rather than deep knowledge of the person.
Intentional dating: Intentional dating is dating with a clear idea of what you want and choosing people and actions that fit that goal.

K

Kittenfishing: Kittenfishing is exaggerating or subtly misrepresenting yourself online, such as with dated photos or inflated details, without inventing a whole identity.

L

Left on read: Left on read is when someone opens and reads your message, as shown by a read receipt, but does not reply.
Limerence: Limerence is an intense, involuntary state of romantic obsession with another person, marked by intrusive thoughts and a craving for reciprocation.
Long-distance relationship: A long-distance relationship (LDR) is a romantic partnership in which the two people live far enough apart that they cannot see each other regularly.
Love at first sight: Love at first sight is the experience of feeling an immediate, powerful romantic attraction and sense of connection upon first meeting someone.
Love bombing: Love bombing is overwhelming someone with excessive affection, praise and attention very early on, often to gain influence or control over them.
Love languages: Love languages are a framework of five ways people give and receive affection: words, quality time, gifts, acts of service and touch.

M

Matchmaking: Matchmaking is the practice of introducing people to one another as potential romantic partners, done by a person, a service or an algorithm.
Meet-cute: A meet-cute is a charming, memorable first encounter between two people that marks the start of a romantic story.
Mirroring: Mirroring is subtly copying another person's gestures, speech, interests or emotions, either naturally to build rapport or deliberately to gain trust.
Mixed signals: Mixed signals are inconsistent words or actions from someone you are dating, leaving you unsure whether they are really interested in you.
Monogamy: Monogamy is a relationship structure in which two people are romantically and sexually committed only to each other.

N

Negging: Negging is giving a backhanded compliment or a subtle insult to undermine someone's confidence and make them seek your approval.
No-contact rule: The no-contact rule is the practice of cutting off all communication with an ex for a set period so both people can heal and gain perspective.

O

On-again-off-again: On-again-off-again describes a relationship in which two people repeatedly break up and get back together over weeks, months or years.
Open relationship: An open relationship is a committed partnership in which both partners agree that either may have other sexual or romantic connections.
Opener: An opener is the first message or line you use to start a conversation with someone, especially on a dating app or when approaching a person you like.
Orbiting: Orbiting is when someone stops communicating directly after a breakup or fade-out but keeps watching and reacting to your social media.

P

Pansexual: Pansexual describes a person who can be attracted to people of any gender, or whose attraction does not depend on gender.
Playing hard to get: Playing hard to get is deliberately acting less available or interested than you are, in the hope of seeming more desirable.
Pocketing: Pocketing is keeping a partner out of sight of friends, family and social media, as though tucked in a pocket, while the relationship continues privately.
Polyamory: Polyamory is the practice of having more than one romantic relationship at the same time, with the knowledge and consent of everyone involved.
Power couple: A power couple is a pair in which both partners are accomplished, ambitious and mutually supportive, often with strong public or professional standing.

R

Rebound: A rebound is a relationship or fling that begins soon after a breakup, often as a way to ease the pain or avoid being alone.
Red flag: A red flag is a warning sign in someone's behaviour or attitude that suggests a relationship may be unhealthy, unsafe or incompatible.
Relationship anarchy: Relationship anarchy is a philosophy in which each relationship is shaped by the people in it, without preset rules, hierarchies or labels.
Rizz: Rizz is slang for charisma: the ability to attract, charm and connect with someone romantically through confidence and conversation.
Roaching: Roaching is secretly dating several people at once while hiding it, and the discovery of one other partner usually reveals there are more.

S

Sapiosexual: Sapiosexual describes a person who finds intelligence, curiosity and thoughtful conversation to be the most attractive qualities in a partner.
Secure attachment: Secure attachment is a style marked by comfort with both closeness and independence and by trust that relationships can be reliable.
Simping: Simping is showing excessive attention, praise or generosity toward someone you are attracted to, usually without it being returned.
Situationship: A situationship is a romantic or sexual connection that has no clear label, commitment or defined future, sitting between friendship and a relationship.
Slow dating: Slow dating is a deliberately unhurried approach to dating that favours fewer, more meaningful connections over rapid, high-volume meeting.
Slow fade: The slow fade is gradually reducing contact with someone, with slower replies and fewer plans, until the connection ends without a direct conversation.
Soft launch: A soft launch is hinting at a new relationship on social media without showing the partner's face or naming them, such as a shared meal or a hand in a photo.
Soulmate: A soulmate is a person with whom you feel a uniquely deep bond of understanding, trust and connection, often described as feeling meant to be.
Speed dating: Speed dating is an organized event where singles meet many people in a row for very short conversations, then indicate who they would like to see again.
Stashing: Stashing is keeping a partner hidden from friends, family and social media, treating the relationship as a secret you are not ready to share.
Submarining: Submarining is resurfacing after a long period of silence with a casual message or a like, without acknowledging the disappearance or apologising.
Swipe fatigue: Swipe fatigue is the exhaustion and loss of motivation that come from endlessly browsing and swiping on dating apps.

T

Talking stage: The talking stage is the early phase of getting to know someone, through messages, calls and a few dates, before deciding whether to become exclusive.
The ick: The ick is a sudden feeling of disgust or loss of attraction toward someone you liked, triggered by a small, often trivial behaviour or detail.
The third date rule: The third date rule is a popular dating guideline suggesting that physical intimacy or a deeper step is expected or considered appropriate by the third date.
Throning: Throning is when someone makes a partner feel treated like royalty during the early stage, then withdraws or loses interest once the novelty fades.
Trauma bonding: Trauma bonding is a strong emotional attachment that forms in a relationship with repeated cycles of mistreatment followed by affection or relief.
Triangulation: Triangulation is bringing a third person into a relationship dynamic, often to provoke jealousy, create insecurity or avoid direct communication.
Twin flame: A twin flame is a spiritual concept describing a partner seen as a mirror of your own soul, whose bond is said to be intense and transformative.

V

Vulnerability: Vulnerability, in dating, is the willingness to show your real feelings, needs and imperfections despite the risk of being hurt or rejected.

W

Wingman: A wingman, or wingwoman, is a friend who supports you in meeting a romantic interest by helping with introductions, conversation and confidence.

Z

Zombieing: Zombieing is when someone who ghosted you suddenly reappears after weeks or months, acting as if nothing happened and wanting to reconnect.